Teaching — 17 comments
14
Jun 13

A Letter to My Students

On December 2nd of 2009, after having spent the last six months being a part-time teacher in Anatomy and Histology lab, I served as exam proctor for the first year medical students of ASMPH one last time. In a month, I would begin my residency training in Neurosurgery.

It was my job to assign rest stations for the move-type exam. In one of the rest stations, I put a box containing sealed envelopes for each of my students. “Get one. Open after the exam,” the instructions on the station said. Inside each envelope were a copy of Gusto Kong Maging Doktor Dahil, and a letter, that I am posting in full below. Continue reading →

Neurosurgery — 10 comments
25
May 13

Incomprehensible Losses

“Sir, regarding patient Ofelia Reyes, inform ko lang po kayo na nag-mortality na. Mother was firm with her DNR status.” I was sleeping on the couch in the Neurosurgery office when my message alert tone woke me up. It was 1:42 in the morning. Our resident mosquitoes were feasting on my ankles, where I had forgotten to put my insect repellent lotion out of stupidity and exhaustion. Though the news was not unexpected, it took a full minute to register in my head: my patient had just died. Continue reading →

Personal — 172 comments
22
Mar 13

Five Valedictorians

Today, my youngest sister will graduate as valedictorian of her high school class. As she delivers her valedictory address on the podium, my engineer father and my homemaker mother will be listening from dedicated seats in the front row. Dapper in his polo and regal in her blouse handpicked just for the occasion, they will share the spotlight as my sister accepts her gold medal. Continue reading →

Neurosurgery — 30 comments
10
Feb 13

Lost Saturdays

“Inday, kakalbuhin ka muna ha?” Eric Reyes said to her 13-year-old daughter Ofelia as she lay restless on the operating table. I sat at the head end of the table, scissors in one hand while the other adjusted and focused the light on her shoulder-length black hair. Her hair was dry and full of tangles. Grit and oil clung to my fingertips as I parted and divided her hair into locks, making the strands more manageable to trim. But it was full and thick nonetheless. Continue reading →

Med School — 7 comments
29
Nov 12

Why Good Enough Is Never Good Enough

“Nakaka-disappoint nga Sir, eh. Kaka-declare pa lang na suspended ang klase bukas dahil sa ulan, tinatanong na agad ako kung puwede bang half day sila. Nung (medical) clerk ako, kahit gaano pa kataas ‘yung baha at kahit gaano kalakas ‘yung ulan, pumapasok kami.” Continue reading →

Neurosurgery — 8 comments
18
Nov 12

You Can Only Take So Much Grief

It is hardest to talk to somebody mourning the sudden loss of a loved one. You are faced with questions that demand exact answers, but no explanation is ever enough, no course of action justified. Grief takes away all reason, leaving only an impenetrable wall of shock and anger. You are not even sure if it is appropriate to say sorry; you know that you did the best you could, and still failed. Continue reading →

Med School — 7 comments
24
Oct 12

Unsent

Let me make it clear that when I saw the patient six hours after his surgery, I recognized right away that he was not fully awake. That was why when I noticed you and your co-intern sitting behind the desk just beside the patient’s bed, my first question was, “Gising ba siya kanina?” Continue reading →

Neurosurgery — 25 comments
30
Aug 12

Being the Happy Resident

Earlier today, as I was walking past the guard who checks employee IDs at the hospital entrance, my attention was called by a colon cancer patient whom I took I care of as a general surgery resident a couple of years back. “Doktor Baticulon!” he called out. I sat beside him and asked how he was (I was glad to find out his cancer has been in remission since his surgery and chemoradiation). I could never forget the old man. Two years ago, after a non-stop, 12-hour surgery in which I was second assist, his heart stopped beating as he was being transferred to the recovery room. He was revived and eventually discharged cancer-free. Since then, whenever we passed by each other in the hospital corridors during his outpatient followups, he would always ask, “Tara Dok, kain muna ta” with his cupped right hand  making a gesture of stuffing rice into his mouth. Continue reading →

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